Why don't bands ever break up any more?

[Update!  I was preparing this rant last week, but never got around to publishing it--but now, one of the biggies has given up the ghost.  Maybe this will inspire the others to pack it in!]

I remember when I was young and there were a bunch of old geezer bands from the sixties and seventies that kept staying together and touring and putting out horrible new albums, etc--the main offender was the Rolling Stones with their awful eighties records, but then there were lesser bands like the Moody Blues and their godawful "In Your Wildest Dreams" song and (Jefferson) Starship with the singular "We Built This City".

At the time, I never realized that the contemporary hipster bands of the eighties would decide to stay together to milk their aging fan base forever, too.  The appropriate behavior for a group would be to put out one good debut album, and follow it up with 1 to 4 albums of lesser quality and then break up as a way of arresting their decline.

Here are a few of the main offenders:

U2 (together 35 years!  First single released 31 years ago)

Adam Clayton always looked awful, didn't he?

R.E.M. (together 31 years)

The mopey look that influenced countless jangle pop band photos in the 80s

Sonic Youth (still peddling their hipster cred after 30 years)

Hey, it's that guy from Stranger than Paradise!

Did you forget they ever looked like that, after all these years?  What ancient bands do you wish would just stop?

I have but one question:  Why isn't Obama doing something about this?  I am so disappointed in him!