Crabby New Year to you!

Shouty!

Foulard HATES lifestyle manifestos!   Foulard likes people who quietly do exactly want they want to without having to stick it on their wall or share their trite, generic, middle class lifestyle tips with others.

The "manifesto"  above has apparently been circulating on "the internets" for a while.  I've seen a lot of similar things in blogs like Apartment Therapy--people with trendy apartments/condos often have some sort of quaint print on their wall that says something like "LOVE EVERY MOMENT OF LIFE." in an archaic/industrial typeface.  They're really just a reincarnation of this oldie, from the Jonathan Livingston Seagull/Listen to the Warm/Love Is era:

Pros: Not in ALL CAPS
Cons: Looks like it was hand-written by hobbits

I don't have an issue with new year's resolutions, and I really don't have a problem with being self-aware and self-determinitive.  The thing I like most is to be doing what I want to do (while being a nice person, of course).  The thing I hate is anyone telling me what to do or think--and these "prescription for happiness" things do just that.  It's like being hectored by a bullying hippie or someone who's just tumbled out of an EST retreat*.

*or Tom Cruise

More Xmas picks

I watched all 81 minutes of this last year, despite a stuttery video feed on the cable channel where I DVR'd it.  Luckily for Foulard readers, it's now available on Netflix--in HD, yet.

More normativity than you can shake a stick at

It's the story of an implausibly quaint small town in Alaska that does Christmas big time every year, until the heaviest Baldwin, Daniel, comes to town and starts cramping their style by invoking a little thing called separation of church and state.  What a cad!  He's a local boy who moved to the big city and has now returned to town to corrupt them with his "cosmopolitan" ways.  Ted McGinley plays the mayor, a solid family man who is weirdly fixated on setting up elaborate holiday displays in the town square, or any place that's city property.  He has a colorless wife, son, and daughter (she's the angel on the poster).  My favorite character is the guy played by "christian comedian" Brad Stine.  I originally thought he would turn out to be Jesus, because of his beard, but instead he's just some doofus brother-in-law to McGinley who does a "hilarious" rant against "the PC police" which was the highlight of the movie for me.   (He also has a concert video called "Tolerate This", which should show you where he's coming from)

Manic for Jesus

SPOILER ALERT:
It turns out that Daniel Baldwin is just causing all this trouble because he doesn't have a family to spend Xmas with.  That's right, he's the grinch.  And then he changes his mind and lets them put up their giant manger scene, or something like that.

Recommended for:
Masochists and people with an irrational paranoia about "the war on Christmas".

Was it worth it?

31 years later, I wonder if the folks at Marvel Comics still think it was a great idea to slap this promotional contest banner across the top of one of their most famous issues ever...

"Comics are a disposable product!  Who cares if the cover looks like shit?  It's not like anyone will ever make a movie of the X-Men with a $160 million budget..."

Proof of God's Existence; Kirk Cameron's Bananas

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A Vision of St. Beebo

"Our Senior Partner"

Now, I know I'm just a secular liberal Seattleite, but this seems like a bit much to lay on me for buying a $17 pocket knife. Not only are they telling me The Good Word, but I'm apparently now a member of their "family". Thanks, I can manage on my own! Unless it's a MAGIC KNIFE (!).

Don't get this guy mad at you!

"..and this infraction will go on your permanent record!"

The Grasshopper and the Ants

Here's one of my favorite fables! I think it has a great lesson for our youth.

Meet the Grasshopper--he's dressed sharp and is playing music and having a great time:

Now check out these wretched ants, toiling away all day:

The Grasshopper explains his happy-go-lucky philosophy of life to the Queen Ant.
I think he's getting through to her!

When winter comes, look who's sitting pretty, being waited on hand and foot. Good for you, Grasshopper!"Some more chocolate chip cookies would be nice..."

A public service announcement

It's always nice when people you're lecturing just nod sadly and don't talk back.