A letter from Jonny G. Fairfacts (partial extract)

Superbowl FEVER!

I know you're as excited about the upcoming Superbowl XVIIICMVIIV as I am--we're all looking forweird to the epic match between that really great team and that bunch of losers (how the hell did they get there?). So this week I'll be doing a special tribute to America's favorite 5-hour event. I've gotten special preview footage fo the halftime act, and they're as awesomely rocking as you remember them. Enjoy!

Beanies: I hate 'em!

When I was a kid, if you said the word 'beanie', it meant something like this (with or without propeller):

(not a photo of me, though I did have a propeller beanie in 1976)

Some time in the last 10-15 years, the word has come to mean a sort of snug sock cap, popularized (I think) by snowboarders and the like, and then adopted by people who want to look like snowboarders:

("Me and my bros are hittin' the slopes and then doing an interview with Leeza Gibbons")

Now it's become a default part of the wardrobe of men under the age of 50.

(the watermarks were included free with this clip art!)

I have friends who wear them, so I know I'm probably treading on some toes here, but I just don't like 'em! I don't like their ubiquity, over-casualness, or the way they often make the wearer's head look too small. The default position seems to be to pull the beanie all the way down to the wearer's eyebrows, which reduces facial expressions down to one look of blank surliness:

(I know, I cheated by using a photo of Eminem to demonstrate that point)

(but still, they're not that great-looking)

In conclusion, bring back the bowler!

Hipster beards again

Here is a photo of a local hipster band. I'm assuming that the guy on the right is a new member of the group.

Do girls really like guys with bushy, unkempt beards these days? Does that make these guys the sexiest band around?

It's Beat!

But why do they think her poem is a comedy routine? It seems pretty heavy to me...

And here's another one!

That's Vampira in another guise--unfortunately it's interspersed with some really boring scenes from the movie (The Beat Generation).

Uncle Fester (Jackie Coogan) is in BOTH clips!

Don't get this guy mad at you!

"..and this infraction will go on your permanent record!"

It's time to declare war on...

Hipster beards!

Today is Sunday...

...and the USDs are out in full force.

A public service announcement

It's always nice when people you're lecturing just nod sadly and don't talk back.

TELL me about it!