Hi, I'm Baggy™! I'm here with an important message about your basic rights as an American. Some very mean people are trying to take away your right to get all the free bags you want, without any charge. What a ridiculous idea! What are you supposed to do, PAY for a bag, or use the same one over and over again? EWWW!
In these lean economic times™, hard-working families don't need the extra financial burden of having to pay extra just to carry their groceries home. It's not like you can buy a reusable bag for 99 cents. The technology just isn't there.
So please, please, vote against the anti-bag amendment. I'll be glad you did.
Remember, being "politically correct" is temporary, but a bag is forever.™
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