How to park on Howell Street at Summit Ave

There are a few simple rules you need to follow if you wish to park your car on Howell Street between Olive Way and Summit Avenue.

1. Make sure you're not very good at parallel parking. If you can get your car in the space in less than five minutes, you're doing something wrong.
2. The street is on a 30 degree incline, so you'll want to be driving a stick shift that you haven't really mastered. This will ensure that your car makes lots of violent, herky-jerky movements as you try to squeeze into that tight space.
3. Don't get your brakes fixed! The squealing, shrieking sound is music to the ears of the people who live in the apartments on both sides of the street.
4. Have a really old beater car that takes 10 minutes to warm up while you sit inside enjoying that first morning cigarette. Make sure to rev the engine intermittently, so that people will think you're finally about to leave. You can also have your stereo blaring the whole time if you want. Any black, billowing clouds of exhaust are a bonus, naturally.
5. If you leave your car parked, you should have an antiquated alarm system that will go off if a hummingbird hovers within ten feet of it.
6. As you're pulling out, do a prolonged 8-point turn so that you don't have to drive around the block to get turned in the right direction. Don't worry, no one minds how long it takes! You can drive up on the sidewalk if necessary.
   
7. When you leave, be sure to pull out and tear down the street as violently as possible, as if you just turned into Steve McQueen in Bullitt.
   

Keep in mind that this is a densely populated area, so you'll want to make sure that as many people as possible are aware of your presence. Happy parking!